Life Lessons

Here are a couple life lessons I would like to share:

1.) Not everyone is going to like you and you know what, that is OK.  You weren't wired for it! Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and just like you're not going to change those individuals they aren't going to change you either.

2.) Judging is such a waste of time.  Why do we spend so much time judging one-another for their career-choices, life choices, men choices, how they handled a situation? We're all doing the best we can.  Leave them alone and concentrate on yourself.

3.) Surround yourself with good positive people! Life is way to short to invest any of your precious time with people who are toxic and don't have your best interest at heart.

4.) Read anything and everything.  An article, a poem, a book series, the Bible.  Read something everyday and learn something new.

5.) If you can't afford a therapist, listen to an insane amount of music.

6.) Comparing yourself to others feels gross.  Love the season, the path, the boat you are in at that moment.  God has a path for you - trust!

7.) It's OK to have ice cream for breakfast.

8.) After getting married, just be together for some time.  We've heard it all before, but having children changes the dynamic of your relationship, your life, your home - everything.  Even though it's the next step in life, don't worry so much about getting there in such a hurry.  Be together, travel, stay up late, go out often.  Build the foundation of your marriage.

9.)We teach people how to treat us.  Don't allow others to bring you down, stick up for yourself, you are your biggest fan - dont give up on yourself and think you deserve to be treated poorly.  No one does.

10.) Treat your body and your mind better.  Your body is your vessel to get around in this one life so if you are struggling to get around because of bad eating choices and lack of exercise, DO SOMETHING about it.  Don't just wish and hope and complain.  Literally get up and do something.  Also, be kinder to yourself.  If anyone talked to you the way you talked to yourself you'd probably kick that persons ass.  Say nice things to yourself, you're kind of amazing.

11.) Smile more.

12.) Do something creative everyday.

13.) Pray everyday.  For yourself, your family, your friends, for peace, for clarity, for help.  Just pray.

14.) Practice self care.  Always.  It's so easy to get caught up in life.  Work, family, children, home, laundry, bills, dinner prep, blogging, obligations take hold and 3 days later you realize you haven't taken a shower or even put deodorant on.  Take care of you and you will be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sibling etc.  Do something that puts a huge smile on your face at least once a day whether it's giving yourself a mini home facial or grabbing coffee and people watching or catching a solo movie or grabbing some fresh cut flowers, love you.  Do you.

15.) When all else fails... DANCE. 

The Longest Winter....Ever.

Why did I fall off the face of the earth? Why did I stop writing? I think apart of me needed a break from online life and apart of it was because ever since November my life was slowly but surely unraveling.  That during December and the months that followed knocked me off my feet completely leaving me dizzy and unable to get my footing.  

Watching my Nana slowly die, watching my mother(and family) have to endure it, the heartache, the stress, the feeling of complete and utter helplessness set in.  The all day nausea from my 2nd pregnancy, mixed emotions of pure elatedness of this new baby joining our growing family and sheer despair of how sick I was, was simply exhausting and how all I wanted was for my mom to come and touch my hair.  How I got out of bed at all is a miracle in itself - but then again it's amazing what you'll do when you have another tiny person, a toddler, still counting on you to keep your shit together.  We lost all our babysitters around that time due to their own personal (serious) issues they had to take care , found ourselves having to spend $500 a month on daycare, in the middle of the craziest, crappiest winter I have ever seen in my life and realized as of maybe 3 weeks ago we hadnt had a date night since our 3rd year anniversary in May.  The grey days took hold of me and made sure I stayed down.  I got into a terrible fight with whom I thought was a dear friend of mine, it came out of left field and frankly was unwarranted and completely inexcusable.  My son took two trips to the ER, has had multiple ear infections, had a stomach bug twice that got me once and my husband the other, multiple viruses and a runny nose that would not go away.  And finally, having to finally say goodbye to my Nana after months and months of suffering.  Knowing she is at peace is my only comforting thought through it all.  

My mind, my house, my life was a mess.  Everything was in disarray.  I was stuck.  But I feel like within the last month or so, I am slowly but surely coming out of the haze.  I am slowly but surely starting to feel more like myself and THANK GOD for that.  Partly due to the all day nausea going away, partly due to the sun making more of an appearance, and partly because I am forcing myself to keep moving forward.  For the last month I have been working on  getting the house organized.  Putting together to-do's again, not just for the day but for the coming months.  Grocery shopping regularly and cooking more - even though I still dont have much of an appetite by the end of the day.  I am slowly but surely making time for myself again (alone time) and i've been working hard on staying busy.  Being stagnant is not good for me.  The last half of 2013 and the first 2 months of 2014 were the toughest months I (my husband, families, etc) have endured but I am also very grateful to have gone through it.  Adversity has brought my husband and I closer, we appreciate the smaller things in life, it has opened our eyes to our finances, and made us love those around us harder and to remember to do the right thing - even if its the harder thing to do.  

I think it was appropriate to discuss the sad/dark moments of my life over the last couple months so I can again appreciate them for what they were, a particularly hard season but also a wonderful learning one as well.  I anticipate the remainder of 2014 to be a wonderful one:

1.) We have 3 weddings to go to.  Two of which are out of town, Traverse City and Toronto, Canada.  We are planning on heading to Niagra Falls the Friday before the wedding for a quick family get away.  

2.) I am investing in a business program/venture that I am SUPER excited but EXTREMELY nervous about.  I'll be helping others feel better about themselves and hopefully make a little extra pocket money to help our family.  More on that later.

3.) We will be welcoming our second son end of July and I am so SO very excited to meet this little guy.

4.) After our son makes his grand entrance I will be buckling down and shedding this baby weight from both pregnancies because going to be honest here, didnt loose much from my first.  So I will be going at it hard and focusing on my health and happiness.  I am planning on working out, eating  right and drinking a TON of H20.

5.) Our landscaping in our front and backyard need some desperate tender loving care this spring.  After a particularly crazy 2013 we barely touched it.  We need it cleaned up, bushes trimmed,  weeds pulled, plants potted, mulch laid - the list could go on.

6.) I am in desperate need of a haircut.  The last time I got one was May of 2013.  Almost a year.  Woof.  Desperate need of a cut and color.  I am seeing more and more greys and I am NOT happy about that.  I also need an eyebrow thread...and a facial.  Hah.

Lots of exciting things going on.  I have to remind myself to keep on swimming.  I have to remind myself that I am pushing myself and my family forward.  Now that this hiatus is over, I am planning on focusing more on on this blog as well.  It's going to be a combination of every life, to-do's, favorites and more.

Thanks for being patient with me!

28 Things About Moi

1.) I am a first generation Italian! 

2.) I have gotten stitches 3 separate times ranging from 2 stitches up to 16!

3.) I have four tattoos, a lotus on my right foot a Japanese symbol for Family, "Baci" on my right wrist and "I press on" on the left side of my hand.

4.) I crave solitude.

5.) I prefer odd numbers to even.  

6.) I don't trust many people other than a select few.

7.) I believe an Owl is my spirit animal

8.) My least favorite meal is dinner.  I could have a bowl of cereal every night and be content.

9.) I really want a cat.  A black cat to be exact and I would call him Binx (after Thackery Binx from Hocus Pocus)

10.) I had to have my gall bladder removed 3 months after Vincent was born.

11.) I dont paint my nails as often as I would like.

12.) I like to collect books more than read them.

13.) I will buy something soley based on it's packaging.  

14.) I'm a snacker.

15.) I hate that I love diet coke so much.

16.) I can be outwardly sometimes, but consider myself more of an introvert.

17.) I prefer a movie, pizza, wine night in than a night out on the town - any day! 

18.) I am obsessed with music, if I get hooked on an artist, song, album I will listen to it for days on end.

19.) I love photography but dont spend as much time as I would like practicing.

20.) In my humble opinion, DeLuca's in Garden City, MI has the best pizza ever.

21.) I was in labor with Vincent for over 20 hours and pushed for 3 1/2 before he came into the world.  He was worth every excruciating/amazing second.

22.) I love to collect office and craft supplies.

23.) I lose sunglasses like it's my job.

24.) I have a small obsession with Starbucks.  

25.) I have a bottomless pit for sweets.

26.) I love my family so much, they are some of the few people who really know and get me.  And for that I am grateful.

27.) FRIENDS is still my favorite TV show.  

28.) Over the last 6 mo or so I have grown a lot of my faith.

What are some things about you?

(this is an old collage that I found - adore the pictures of baby Vincent)

Life To Do

 

I feel like with Vincent being sick on and off for the last month it seems, I feel as though a lot of things that I wanted/needed to get done have fallen to the way-side.  *Knock on wood* this is Vincent's first time being sick sick.  He has had colds and such, but walking ammonia is a new ball game of worry.  But slowly he seems to be making little improvements here and there.  

It's funny though, because even though you want to hit pause on life so you can take care of business, life is like NOPE I'm going to keep going beeotch, like it or leave it i'm moving forward.  DARN YOU LIFE :::shakes fist:::

Has this ever happened to you when you are sick... you wallow in your sickness, you lay around in your sweats, you drink a lot of fluids, you watch everything there is to watch on TV and finally one day, you feel a little better and your like, I should probably take a shower.  So, you shower, you take a little extra time lathering up, you actually shave your legs, you exfoliate, you moisturize.  You walk out pores open, smelling fresh and you actually blow dry your hair instead of wrapping it up in a wet bun.   That's me.  But sans being the sick one.  Since Vincent is getting good reports from the doctor I feel like I can finally start taking care of myself, which I know it shouldn't be that way, I need to take care of me first so I can take care of him.  But, it is what it is.  My sweet boy wasn't feeling good and neither was I.  I wanted to take his sickies so he could run around and be him.  How we take our health or the health of our loved one's for granted.  

So I am slowly but surely pulling myself together again and truly taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of... laundry, opening up mail/bills, going grocery shopping, answering e-mails, writing, etc.  I feel like this last month has been a blur.  A month full of worry, anxiety and frustration.  With the holidays right around the corner, I need to get my act straight and get shit done - ya feel me?  So I began to write down everything that needs to get done.  Writing it down, publically is a great way to hold myself accountable, so here is my Life To Do:

Home:

- Catch up on all laundry - fold and put away

- Organize office, file away old bills

- Scrub down bathroom

- Vacuum and Dust

- Scrub down kitchen

- Clean out fridge

- Menu plan for 2 weeks

- Go grocery shopping 

- Clean out kitchen cabinets - donate/purge unwanted items

- Catch up on all mail/filing

- Clean out catch-all bin in kitchen

Personal:

- Get eyebrows threaded ASAP

- Clean out purse

- Go get a massage and/or facial

- Paint nails

- Take a solo shopping/me day in the near future

- Volunteer somewhere

- Donate unwanted clothes

- Detail car | Outside and Inside

- Set up blogging schedule/posts

- Pay it forward

- Do something new

- Take more pictures/document them

- Start shopping for Christmas

- Order X-mas cards

- Pick up new tree 

Professional:

- Plan out 2014 goals and meet with Supervisor to go over them

- Once a week work out of another branch

- Clean out office and organize desk

- Thank you notes to the team

- Start planning 2013 Holiday/End of the year party for the team

That feels better.  And I am sure I am forgetting something as well.  There is so much to be done and I want to make sure I am writing it down in a place I will see often.  It's time to get up, brush myself off and get things done and make things happen.

Have a great day!

Hello November

October was a good month.  I was able to get a lot done personally and a couple of fun things happened.  We got family pictures taken, it was my birthday and got some fun stuff like new clothes, books, a juicer, a gel manicure and lots of Starbucks.  Let's re-cap my goals.

October Goals:
1.) Take a ton more pictures with my BIG camera
2.) Read another book. (super close to being done but didnt quite make it)
3.) Go on 2 NEW play dates with Vincent. (1/2) Sorry Vincent!
4.) Read more from my daily devotionals.
5.) Make a homemade apple pie from scratch. (this just aint happening)
6.) Go to three cider mills this month. (1/3) (Oct got busier than we thought!)
7.) Visit the DIA (Nope~)
8.) Schedule a TREAT YO SELF DAY and document it. (went on a treat yo self day but didnt document it - im ok with that
9.) Pay It Forward 10/15/2013
10.) Add more $$ to savings
11.) Set up retirement fund with old 401K (ugh!)
12.) Purge and donate (Oops!)
13.) Go on a formal date with my lovah 10/17/2013
14.) Go on more walks – enjoy nature. (My bad)
15.) Try something new. 10/19/2013 

I get a little anxious when November comes around because it means Michigan becomes a perma-gray, cold, wet tempature.  It's not fun at all and frankly - I can't stand it! It stays like this until mid April.  I invested in a Happy Light it's supposed to simulate natural day light and helps improve mood and fight fatigue.  I am hoping it helps with my seasonal blues.  I want to keep my momentum up from October and not let the grey days get me down because I have another jam packed month full of goals.  

November Goals:
1.) Publish 2 articles
2.) Read (and finish) another book
3.) Take more pictures with BIG camera
4.) Take a Bikram Yoga Class
5.) Clean out all Kitchen drawers/cabinets and organize
6.) Volunteer somewhere
7.) Go on a DATE NIGHT with Michael
8.) Get a facial
9.) Go on 2 new play dates with Vincent
10.) Create Vincent Photo Album

I am SO excited for this month and a couple new projects that I put out there in the universe.  Who knows what will come of them, but I am proud of myself for making that effort.  Sometimes I get so complacent in my little bubble.  This month is about stepping out of my comfort zone and Making Things Happen! 

Have a great month!

{+}

I Believe In...

 

 

I believe in loving yourself first and foremost.  As cliche as it sounds, how can someone love or stand to be around you if you can't stand to be by yourself.  Be alone, sit in silence, write in a journal about the thoughts in your head.  Know who you are and what your morales and beliefs are.  Get to know you before you get to know anyone else.  It may get uncomfortable at times and yes you be feel lonely, but being alone is OK.  

I believe in not showing your cards all the time.  Sometimes a level of mystery is necessary.  I believe that it's important for people to work for your affection, trust and respect.  It's not something I give out willy-nilly.  Not many agree or understand this method, but it's something I wholeheartedly believe has stopped me from getting involved with people who don't have my best interest at heart.  Sure I find out even after showing my cards, but at least I gave some time before investing in someone.  Ask those important questions first, give someone the opportunity to show their true colors.

I believe that you can change around your day in a heart-beat.  I woke up the other day in a terribly bad mood.  I was tired, I had a list of things to get done for the day and it was a Sunday, which is a brutal reminder that Monday is right around the corner.  I took about an hour to be annoyed, angry, frustrated - I sat on the couch in my PJS and just felt annoyed and after that - I just got moving.  Physical movement helps! I got up and made chocolate chip pumpkin pancakes, we went shopping, carved pumpkins, went to the cider mill and watched a movie.  I believe that through physical movement and just going helps you change your mood around.  Sitting, wallowing for too long, and not doing something to actually change your mood is going to cause you more grief.  By the end of the day, even though I was tired and worn out - I felt great for having such a positive productive day.

I believe in good music.  Really good music that meanders it's way into your soul and helps you see things a little more clearly.  Music so good that you cant help but feel all the emotions.  It makes you smile or cry or get up and dance.  It understands you - it gets you and it knows when it needs to be heard.  Music so incredible that you play it on repeat over and over and over until it serves it purpose.  Music so inspiring that it changes you for the better, it helps you understand yourself, the situation or helps puts things in perspective.  Sometimes its the beat, the melody or the lyrics - but it's too good to ignore.

I believe in doing things that scare you.  We get so comfortable in our little bubble.  We become complacent with the people, events, daily things in our lives that we forget (intentionally or not) that there is so much out there! I've noticed that once I step outside of my safety zone and do something that is widely out of my comfort...it usually ends up being the exact thing I needed.  Sometimes you gotta shake things up! What's something you normally wouldn't do? Join a book club with a bunch of strangers? Try a wine tasting class? Go to lunch by yourself? Write out a list of things that scare you - and do it! You'll mind, body and soul will thank you! 

I believe in Kindness.  Life is too short to be anything but kind.  Be nice.  Be generous.  Be gracious.

What are some things you believe in?

{+}

My New Found Frugal Life

It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve adopted our new found frugal life.  A couple observations/thoughts/musings:

- It hasn’t been easy.  I really want to shop and this is forcing me to not mindlessly spend and it’s also making me appreciate delayed gratification.
- I’m still using a lot of my allowance on food.  Which annoys me.  Coffee/lunches/etc. 
- We still haven't seen the fruits of our labor (yet) I know its only been two weeks.  But since we changed up how we pay our bills, we should see some substantial change by the third pay period.
- It makes me realize that I had a shopping/spending problem, because I get the urge too really bad and I have to physically stop myself.  I was in target and didn’t realize it until I snapped out of it – but I had a gorgeous purse in my hands and I was convinced I was going to walk out of the store with it.
- I think once I see how much (hopefully) is in our checking account by the end of the month I’ll be a changed woman… here’s to hoping.

Overall, it’s been good for me to stop buying buying buying (not that I was out of control, but it was obnoxious) and really forcing me to ask myself… “Do you really need this?” “Is this something that is worth spending your allowance on?” and for that, it’s been worth it so far.  Here’s to many successful and slightly less painful weeks ahead!

 

Image here

My Personal Style

My style in clothing has changed throughout the years.  I’ve been a girly girl with the dresses and fancy shoes, I’ve been a tom-boy with graphic tee’s and a ball chain necklace, I’ve been into labels… I’ve been through many.  But as I’ve gotten a little older, I’m realizing that I prefer simple tastes. 

A couple good pair of jeans that have a nice relax fit, I prefer a straight leg over flare or boot cut.  A dark denim, black and a colored is ideal.

A couple tissue tees, they are so soft and light and fit amazing no matter what size you are.  I’ve had the same one, which I am afraid I’ll have to retired soon that I've had for over 2 years.  I’ve worn it pre pregnancy, during pregnancy and post.  Now that’s a versatile tee if you ask me.

A cardigan, I loooove layering.  A long cardigan over a tissue to to cover up if it gets cold or to run up to the store.  Works for me.

A handful of scarves.  Once the cooler weather hits, you wont see me without a scarf on.  It’s my go-to accessory in the cooler months.

Shoes: A wonderfully fitting flat, ankle boot and knee boot for all seasons. 

A over the shoulder, messenger-esqe bag is my thing.  Ever since having a kid, my arms are always full so I prefer a bag that I can swing over my chest. 

I never have been BIG into jewelry.  I always have a couple pieces I wear all the time including a pair of earrings my husband gave me before we were married, my watch my parents got for Christmas, my wedding bands and a ring with my sons initials and a red thread bracelet to keep away the evil eye and that’s it.  Simple. 

I’m going to be purging A LOT of my clothes this month and purchasing my key go-to pieces over the course of September and October.  I’ve been all over Pinterest pining my favorite styles.  Here are a few of my favorites.

How has your style changed over the years? What is your go-to style?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Spend Less

Being an adult has it's awesome days... like days I want to have ice cream for breakfast or stay up late watching movies.  No parent  hovering over me telling me ice cream isn't a suitable breakfast choice (I beg to differ) or I have work in the morning and I should get to bed instead of watching movies all night.  

But a lot of the times, being an adult really sucks.  It comes with an insane amount of responsibility, bills, places to be, home to keep up with, relationships to nurture, metabolism slowing down... it's all very tragic.  One of the things that Mike and I have not put our adult pants on with was the whole budget thing.  We've been getting by for the last 3 years of our joint finances with not much to show for.  

After having a couple rough months this year where it felt like we were barely going to get by, we sat down and shit got real.  We realized that we are frivolously spending our money on food (lunches, dinners, coffee (me) in the morning) and a lot of little things here and there that added up like books, movies, hobby stuff, makeup etc.  We were getting to the point where we were beginning to step out of living within our means.  

We went over our net income + monthly expenses and we (happily) realized that we had quite a bit of money left over but didnt realize because we were pissing it away and didnt understand where it was going.  Sigh.  

What did we do? 

We created a 2 week menu plan that had a shopping list.  We just dont make it to the grocery store every week - we've tried.  We just dont.  The two week plan has worked.  

We also got a lot of fruit, veggies and snacks and pre-packaged them in easy accessible baggies so we dont waste.

Going alongside with that is we are brown bagging it - boring, yes... but sooo sooo SO cheap! 

We switched up when we pay certain bills.  A lot of them were at the end of the month leaving us sweating.  We moved up a lot of the bills to the beginning of the month and so far it's working.

We set up 3 month, 6 month and 1 year goals for our savings account to make it grow.

And the single most important thing we did to help our finances? We gave ourselves an allowance.  This allowance is for 2 weeks.  We have to make $100 (each) last for two weeks.  This means I can use my $100 on anything I want, coffee, make up, clothes, movies, lunch etc.  But if I blow my $100 before the 2 weeks are up - that's my prob.  I've never put myself on a budget... That sounds kind of crazy to say but I havent.  We are going to have weekly budget meetings to keep each other straight.

I am super excited to see how we are going to be able to improve our financial lives together.  I want to be debt free in 3 years (excluding mortgage and student loans) but I feel like if we stick to our plan, it can happen easy! 

I feel like I have to make it into a game or else I am going to loose my mind since I love to shop and spend.  So I am putting together a list of things to do instead of spend.

- Go for a walk

- Sit down and read one of the 40 books you've gotten recently

- Make some homemade bread

- Go to the zoo with Vincent

- Go to the Library

- Go to the DIA

- Clean out your closet 

- Write in your journal

- Go for a drive and blast some music

- Meditate

I am excited for this journey.  Here's to being debt free! 

here

September Goals

I don’t know about you but August sucked.  We weren’t responsible with our money, I ate like crap a lot, I didn’t work out – like once.  I stressed out a lot at work.  I didn’t have ONE me day or like Maria’s day out.  I didn’t do anything that inspired me.  Basically I was going through the freaking motions.  Which sucks. 

But with a new month brings new goals, wishes, aspirations and – a new job! Same company… new job.  But really, it’s so perfect.  Before I was a hot mess of stress, tension and anxiety.  It was NOT for me.  This new role is much more for me.  It is a lot less stress and basically exactly what I needed.

I am getting my life back on track.  I realized I was a hot mess after re-washing the same load of laundry 4 times because I forgot it and when we were out of clothes went down to the laundry room only to forget about said load in the wash and opening it up only smell that mildewy smell.  Sigh.

I am not going to dwell on my mistakes last month, only look forward to a new month and new goals and aspirations.

1.) Get our budget for the month figured out and STICK TO IT!
2.) Add a significant amount of money to our savings.
3.) Set up IRA with old retirement money from Con-way
4.) Create a menu plan for 2 week periods and shop accordingly.
5.) Do a 3-day juice cleanse
6.) Read another book
7.) Take a ton more pictures and document them.
8.) Find a new church
9.) Read more from my daily devotionals
10.) Go for a walk every single day from 9/9/2013-9/30/2013 (Minimum 20 minutes)
11.) Schedule a TREAT YO SELF day and document it
12.) Purge & Donate
13.) Document every day this month (Not counting weekends but it’s not off limits)
14.) Organize office
15.) Write a lot more.

I love writing out goals.  It helps me stay accountable.  I want September to be super productive…I want to take care of myself in all aspects: Financially, mentally, emotionally and physically.  I think my goals above will help with all of those. 

What are your goals for this month? Make it count!