The Longest Winter....Ever.

Why did I fall off the face of the earth? Why did I stop writing? I think apart of me needed a break from online life and apart of it was because ever since November my life was slowly but surely unraveling.  That during December and the months that followed knocked me off my feet completely leaving me dizzy and unable to get my footing.  

Watching my Nana slowly die, watching my mother(and family) have to endure it, the heartache, the stress, the feeling of complete and utter helplessness set in.  The all day nausea from my 2nd pregnancy, mixed emotions of pure elatedness of this new baby joining our growing family and sheer despair of how sick I was, was simply exhausting and how all I wanted was for my mom to come and touch my hair.  How I got out of bed at all is a miracle in itself - but then again it's amazing what you'll do when you have another tiny person, a toddler, still counting on you to keep your shit together.  We lost all our babysitters around that time due to their own personal (serious) issues they had to take care , found ourselves having to spend $500 a month on daycare, in the middle of the craziest, crappiest winter I have ever seen in my life and realized as of maybe 3 weeks ago we hadnt had a date night since our 3rd year anniversary in May.  The grey days took hold of me and made sure I stayed down.  I got into a terrible fight with whom I thought was a dear friend of mine, it came out of left field and frankly was unwarranted and completely inexcusable.  My son took two trips to the ER, has had multiple ear infections, had a stomach bug twice that got me once and my husband the other, multiple viruses and a runny nose that would not go away.  And finally, having to finally say goodbye to my Nana after months and months of suffering.  Knowing she is at peace is my only comforting thought through it all.  

My mind, my house, my life was a mess.  Everything was in disarray.  I was stuck.  But I feel like within the last month or so, I am slowly but surely coming out of the haze.  I am slowly but surely starting to feel more like myself and THANK GOD for that.  Partly due to the all day nausea going away, partly due to the sun making more of an appearance, and partly because I am forcing myself to keep moving forward.  For the last month I have been working on  getting the house organized.  Putting together to-do's again, not just for the day but for the coming months.  Grocery shopping regularly and cooking more - even though I still dont have much of an appetite by the end of the day.  I am slowly but surely making time for myself again (alone time) and i've been working hard on staying busy.  Being stagnant is not good for me.  The last half of 2013 and the first 2 months of 2014 were the toughest months I (my husband, families, etc) have endured but I am also very grateful to have gone through it.  Adversity has brought my husband and I closer, we appreciate the smaller things in life, it has opened our eyes to our finances, and made us love those around us harder and to remember to do the right thing - even if its the harder thing to do.  

I think it was appropriate to discuss the sad/dark moments of my life over the last couple months so I can again appreciate them for what they were, a particularly hard season but also a wonderful learning one as well.  I anticipate the remainder of 2014 to be a wonderful one:

1.) We have 3 weddings to go to.  Two of which are out of town, Traverse City and Toronto, Canada.  We are planning on heading to Niagra Falls the Friday before the wedding for a quick family get away.  

2.) I am investing in a business program/venture that I am SUPER excited but EXTREMELY nervous about.  I'll be helping others feel better about themselves and hopefully make a little extra pocket money to help our family.  More on that later.

3.) We will be welcoming our second son end of July and I am so SO very excited to meet this little guy.

4.) After our son makes his grand entrance I will be buckling down and shedding this baby weight from both pregnancies because going to be honest here, didnt loose much from my first.  So I will be going at it hard and focusing on my health and happiness.  I am planning on working out, eating  right and drinking a TON of H20.

5.) Our landscaping in our front and backyard need some desperate tender loving care this spring.  After a particularly crazy 2013 we barely touched it.  We need it cleaned up, bushes trimmed,  weeds pulled, plants potted, mulch laid - the list could go on.

6.) I am in desperate need of a haircut.  The last time I got one was May of 2013.  Almost a year.  Woof.  Desperate need of a cut and color.  I am seeing more and more greys and I am NOT happy about that.  I also need an eyebrow thread...and a facial.  Hah.

Lots of exciting things going on.  I have to remind myself to keep on swimming.  I have to remind myself that I am pushing myself and my family forward.  Now that this hiatus is over, I am planning on focusing more on on this blog as well.  It's going to be a combination of every life, to-do's, favorites and more.

Thanks for being patient with me!

Small Victories List

I came across this post and thought this was brilliant way to celebrate some small victories in your day.  Some days it’s like, if you’re still alive and the kid is not running around naked it’s a GOOD DAY! But I thought creating a list of small victories of things to get done everyday was a great way to still be productive in the event one of those “How did I make it through the day” day’s happen.  So I began to think, what are my every day small victories?

1.) Make my bed

2.) Dressed and Blush on by 10AM (at the latest)

3.) Outside time

4.) Read something…ANYTHING

5.) Clean the kitchen

 

It’s simple, it’s easy. It’s the small victories in life that get us through sometimes, am I right?

What are your small victories?

Painting Pumpkins & Halloween 2013

Vincent didn’t go out for Halloween this year because the poor little guy got sick on Wednesday and was sick through Sunday.  He got an ear infection too which just sucks.  But before he got sick, we had an opportunity to paint his pumpkin and for Mike and I to carve ours.  Vincent did really well with the paint, even though he did look at me with those eyes that want to test you and try and eat the paint.  Ugh.  Boys.  Anyway, we had a great time and even though Vincent didn’t get to go Trick or Treating this year, it’s OK! They’ll be plenty of time for that soon, so we just all snuggled up on the couch together and watched movies and sipped hot cider.  How was your Halloween?

Photo shoot with a Handsome Dude

The other day I was sitting on the couch looking through photos I had just taken and Vincent comes over, rests his head on my shoulder and look on at the pictures as I was scrolling through.  After I was done, he jumps on and yells “Cheese!” How could I not start snapping away?

How did I get so lucky? Thank you God for this wonderful little boy.  He is my everything.

I Believe In...

 

 

I believe in loving yourself first and foremost.  As cliche as it sounds, how can someone love or stand to be around you if you can't stand to be by yourself.  Be alone, sit in silence, write in a journal about the thoughts in your head.  Know who you are and what your morales and beliefs are.  Get to know you before you get to know anyone else.  It may get uncomfortable at times and yes you be feel lonely, but being alone is OK.  

I believe in not showing your cards all the time.  Sometimes a level of mystery is necessary.  I believe that it's important for people to work for your affection, trust and respect.  It's not something I give out willy-nilly.  Not many agree or understand this method, but it's something I wholeheartedly believe has stopped me from getting involved with people who don't have my best interest at heart.  Sure I find out even after showing my cards, but at least I gave some time before investing in someone.  Ask those important questions first, give someone the opportunity to show their true colors.

I believe that you can change around your day in a heart-beat.  I woke up the other day in a terribly bad mood.  I was tired, I had a list of things to get done for the day and it was a Sunday, which is a brutal reminder that Monday is right around the corner.  I took about an hour to be annoyed, angry, frustrated - I sat on the couch in my PJS and just felt annoyed and after that - I just got moving.  Physical movement helps! I got up and made chocolate chip pumpkin pancakes, we went shopping, carved pumpkins, went to the cider mill and watched a movie.  I believe that through physical movement and just going helps you change your mood around.  Sitting, wallowing for too long, and not doing something to actually change your mood is going to cause you more grief.  By the end of the day, even though I was tired and worn out - I felt great for having such a positive productive day.

I believe in good music.  Really good music that meanders it's way into your soul and helps you see things a little more clearly.  Music so good that you cant help but feel all the emotions.  It makes you smile or cry or get up and dance.  It understands you - it gets you and it knows when it needs to be heard.  Music so incredible that you play it on repeat over and over and over until it serves it purpose.  Music so inspiring that it changes you for the better, it helps you understand yourself, the situation or helps puts things in perspective.  Sometimes its the beat, the melody or the lyrics - but it's too good to ignore.

I believe in doing things that scare you.  We get so comfortable in our little bubble.  We become complacent with the people, events, daily things in our lives that we forget (intentionally or not) that there is so much out there! I've noticed that once I step outside of my safety zone and do something that is widely out of my comfort...it usually ends up being the exact thing I needed.  Sometimes you gotta shake things up! What's something you normally wouldn't do? Join a book club with a bunch of strangers? Try a wine tasting class? Go to lunch by yourself? Write out a list of things that scare you - and do it! You'll mind, body and soul will thank you! 

I believe in Kindness.  Life is too short to be anything but kind.  Be nice.  Be generous.  Be gracious.

What are some things you believe in?

{+}

My Personal Style

My style in clothing has changed throughout the years.  I’ve been a girly girl with the dresses and fancy shoes, I’ve been a tom-boy with graphic tee’s and a ball chain necklace, I’ve been into labels… I’ve been through many.  But as I’ve gotten a little older, I’m realizing that I prefer simple tastes. 

A couple good pair of jeans that have a nice relax fit, I prefer a straight leg over flare or boot cut.  A dark denim, black and a colored is ideal.

A couple tissue tees, they are so soft and light and fit amazing no matter what size you are.  I’ve had the same one, which I am afraid I’ll have to retired soon that I've had for over 2 years.  I’ve worn it pre pregnancy, during pregnancy and post.  Now that’s a versatile tee if you ask me.

A cardigan, I loooove layering.  A long cardigan over a tissue to to cover up if it gets cold or to run up to the store.  Works for me.

A handful of scarves.  Once the cooler weather hits, you wont see me without a scarf on.  It’s my go-to accessory in the cooler months.

Shoes: A wonderfully fitting flat, ankle boot and knee boot for all seasons. 

A over the shoulder, messenger-esqe bag is my thing.  Ever since having a kid, my arms are always full so I prefer a bag that I can swing over my chest. 

I never have been BIG into jewelry.  I always have a couple pieces I wear all the time including a pair of earrings my husband gave me before we were married, my watch my parents got for Christmas, my wedding bands and a ring with my sons initials and a red thread bracelet to keep away the evil eye and that’s it.  Simple. 

I’m going to be purging A LOT of my clothes this month and purchasing my key go-to pieces over the course of September and October.  I’ve been all over Pinterest pining my favorite styles.  Here are a few of my favorites.

How has your style changed over the years? What is your go-to style?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

My DREAM 3 months off

Today’s prompt is “If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do?” – I am going to do this is as if money weren’t an issue, because its more fun that way.

Wouldn’t that be a freaking dream come true? Everyday life can be hard sometimes… it can get monotonous, it can get…well boring at times.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade in my PJ Tuesday’s, my little home or my sweet obnoxious dog for anything – but it is fun to dream.

If I could take three months off from my current life and do anything in the world, I would leave the states and head over the pond to Europe.  I would go to France for a month and sit in little café’s on the street.  I would read good books and drink fancy coffee’s.  I would take leisurely walks down little alley’s and eat lots of cheese and bread.  I would write my little heart out.  I would smoke an abundant amount of cigarettes.  I would spend days in museums and hours taking pictures of beautiful things and people.

Here
I would then spend another month in, of course, Italy.  The other homeland.  I’d take Vespa rides around the city, eat way to much gelato, stuff my face with pastas and meats.  I’d swim in the Mediterranean and get drunk on red wine and high on espresso.  I’d hop of the metro train and zip around the country soaking up every little bit I could.  I’d master the art of doing nothing and be inspired by the country’s true authentic beauty.

Here
Lastly, I’d spend the last month in Greece.  I’d spend my days in and/or by the sea.  I wouldn’t leave.  I’d wake up and the first thing I’d do would to go swim.  I’d spend my time fishing, taking hikes, visiting vistas and eat the most delicious food.  I’d walk through acres of vineyards, visit Mt. Zas and watch the sunset.  Life wouldn’t get any better than that.

Here
What would you do if you have three months off from your current life to do what you wanted?

Random Thoughts on a Thursday

*

 

- This week has been rough.  Vincent is on his anti-biotic, I'm stressed because of work, and I’ve been to Ohio two times this week for work already.  Weekend? Are you here yet?

- I’ve been making a more conscience effort to really clean up after myself.  I’ll be good for a day or two then boom the kitchen has dishes everywhere, the table has jelly on it and mail is everywhere.  I HATE THAT! I am trying to keep up than catch up.

- Weekend project is organizing my office.  It’s getting a little cray.  Before and after pics too.

- Im looking forward to shopping with my sister in law and future sister in law on Saturday.  Need some girl time and if you know anything about, I’ll never say NO to shopping.

- I hate cooking dinner.  HATE.  It feels like such a chore.