Life Lessons

Here are a couple life lessons I would like to share:

1.) Not everyone is going to like you and you know what, that is OK.  You weren't wired for it! Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and just like you're not going to change those individuals they aren't going to change you either.

2.) Judging is such a waste of time.  Why do we spend so much time judging one-another for their career-choices, life choices, men choices, how they handled a situation? We're all doing the best we can.  Leave them alone and concentrate on yourself.

3.) Surround yourself with good positive people! Life is way to short to invest any of your precious time with people who are toxic and don't have your best interest at heart.

4.) Read anything and everything.  An article, a poem, a book series, the Bible.  Read something everyday and learn something new.

5.) If you can't afford a therapist, listen to an insane amount of music.

6.) Comparing yourself to others feels gross.  Love the season, the path, the boat you are in at that moment.  God has a path for you - trust!

7.) It's OK to have ice cream for breakfast.

8.) After getting married, just be together for some time.  We've heard it all before, but having children changes the dynamic of your relationship, your life, your home - everything.  Even though it's the next step in life, don't worry so much about getting there in such a hurry.  Be together, travel, stay up late, go out often.  Build the foundation of your marriage.

9.)We teach people how to treat us.  Don't allow others to bring you down, stick up for yourself, you are your biggest fan - dont give up on yourself and think you deserve to be treated poorly.  No one does.

10.) Treat your body and your mind better.  Your body is your vessel to get around in this one life so if you are struggling to get around because of bad eating choices and lack of exercise, DO SOMETHING about it.  Don't just wish and hope and complain.  Literally get up and do something.  Also, be kinder to yourself.  If anyone talked to you the way you talked to yourself you'd probably kick that persons ass.  Say nice things to yourself, you're kind of amazing.

11.) Smile more.

12.) Do something creative everyday.

13.) Pray everyday.  For yourself, your family, your friends, for peace, for clarity, for help.  Just pray.

14.) Practice self care.  Always.  It's so easy to get caught up in life.  Work, family, children, home, laundry, bills, dinner prep, blogging, obligations take hold and 3 days later you realize you haven't taken a shower or even put deodorant on.  Take care of you and you will be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sibling etc.  Do something that puts a huge smile on your face at least once a day whether it's giving yourself a mini home facial or grabbing coffee and people watching or catching a solo movie or grabbing some fresh cut flowers, love you.  Do you.

15.) When all else fails... DANCE. 

Weekend Recap

This last weekend was the first weekend, in a while, that was actually fun, full of activities and was generally busy.  Friday, Mike and I had a dinner date night.  We are making more of a conscience effort to get out together more - even if it's just for dinner.  So after work we headed up to Bonefish and had a couple appetizers, their famous bang bang shrimp and their decadent calamari.  I was so full from all their bread and pesto and apps that I could barely finish my soup.  After dinner, my sister in law asked if I was available to get out for a little for the heck of it.  After we picked up Vincent from my aunts and dropped him off at home with Mike, we headed to Bar Louie for girl talk and more food lol.  We tried to catch a late movie, but they ended up cancelling the flick we were planning on seeing. 

Saturday morning, Mike and I were on a mission to get our cars in shape.  It was a beautiful day out and while we cleaned, Vincent played in the back.  It felt so good to take everything out of the car, wipe down the inside, disinfect, vacuum and get a car wash.  My car seriously looks brand new - it hadnt been that clean since I first got it 5 years ago! I tend to get in the habit of living out of my car because we are always so busy! I ran some errands at Target, did some laundry, and we cooked dinner.  It was such a productive day and it felt great to knock off that item on my to-do list.

Sunday we went and saw Rio 2 with Vincent.  He did OK, but probably could afford to wait a little longer before we try again.  After the movie, we met up with my mom and dad for brunch at Leo's.  After brunch we headed back to their house and hung out.  Vincent decided to forgo his one and only nap - ugh! We went for some froyo and sat outside.  It was glorious.  After froyo, we headed over to Mike's parents and hung out there, sat outside on their glorious porch, let Vincent run around and ended up staying for dinner.

By the time we got home, Vincent was SO over it.  He was overtired, cranky, dirty from playing in the mud, hated having to take a bath even though we have to usually pry him out of the bath, kicked, screamed and overall lost his ever loving mind.  He was in bed by 745. 

I had all the best intentions to do some more laundry and be productive since we were not in the house at all - but I was pooped.  So I was in bed by 830 and out by 835.

I have a busy week ahead of me with a ton of housework, I have a company coming in to get our air ducts cleaned and I need to get some bills paid.  I cant find my planner so that is quite obnoxious - but alas, need to get my ass organized.

Hope you all have a great week!

The Longest Winter....Ever.

Why did I fall off the face of the earth? Why did I stop writing? I think apart of me needed a break from online life and apart of it was because ever since November my life was slowly but surely unraveling.  That during December and the months that followed knocked me off my feet completely leaving me dizzy and unable to get my footing.  

Watching my Nana slowly die, watching my mother(and family) have to endure it, the heartache, the stress, the feeling of complete and utter helplessness set in.  The all day nausea from my 2nd pregnancy, mixed emotions of pure elatedness of this new baby joining our growing family and sheer despair of how sick I was, was simply exhausting and how all I wanted was for my mom to come and touch my hair.  How I got out of bed at all is a miracle in itself - but then again it's amazing what you'll do when you have another tiny person, a toddler, still counting on you to keep your shit together.  We lost all our babysitters around that time due to their own personal (serious) issues they had to take care , found ourselves having to spend $500 a month on daycare, in the middle of the craziest, crappiest winter I have ever seen in my life and realized as of maybe 3 weeks ago we hadnt had a date night since our 3rd year anniversary in May.  The grey days took hold of me and made sure I stayed down.  I got into a terrible fight with whom I thought was a dear friend of mine, it came out of left field and frankly was unwarranted and completely inexcusable.  My son took two trips to the ER, has had multiple ear infections, had a stomach bug twice that got me once and my husband the other, multiple viruses and a runny nose that would not go away.  And finally, having to finally say goodbye to my Nana after months and months of suffering.  Knowing she is at peace is my only comforting thought through it all.  

My mind, my house, my life was a mess.  Everything was in disarray.  I was stuck.  But I feel like within the last month or so, I am slowly but surely coming out of the haze.  I am slowly but surely starting to feel more like myself and THANK GOD for that.  Partly due to the all day nausea going away, partly due to the sun making more of an appearance, and partly because I am forcing myself to keep moving forward.  For the last month I have been working on  getting the house organized.  Putting together to-do's again, not just for the day but for the coming months.  Grocery shopping regularly and cooking more - even though I still dont have much of an appetite by the end of the day.  I am slowly but surely making time for myself again (alone time) and i've been working hard on staying busy.  Being stagnant is not good for me.  The last half of 2013 and the first 2 months of 2014 were the toughest months I (my husband, families, etc) have endured but I am also very grateful to have gone through it.  Adversity has brought my husband and I closer, we appreciate the smaller things in life, it has opened our eyes to our finances, and made us love those around us harder and to remember to do the right thing - even if its the harder thing to do.  

I think it was appropriate to discuss the sad/dark moments of my life over the last couple months so I can again appreciate them for what they were, a particularly hard season but also a wonderful learning one as well.  I anticipate the remainder of 2014 to be a wonderful one:

1.) We have 3 weddings to go to.  Two of which are out of town, Traverse City and Toronto, Canada.  We are planning on heading to Niagra Falls the Friday before the wedding for a quick family get away.  

2.) I am investing in a business program/venture that I am SUPER excited but EXTREMELY nervous about.  I'll be helping others feel better about themselves and hopefully make a little extra pocket money to help our family.  More on that later.

3.) We will be welcoming our second son end of July and I am so SO very excited to meet this little guy.

4.) After our son makes his grand entrance I will be buckling down and shedding this baby weight from both pregnancies because going to be honest here, didnt loose much from my first.  So I will be going at it hard and focusing on my health and happiness.  I am planning on working out, eating  right and drinking a TON of H20.

5.) Our landscaping in our front and backyard need some desperate tender loving care this spring.  After a particularly crazy 2013 we barely touched it.  We need it cleaned up, bushes trimmed,  weeds pulled, plants potted, mulch laid - the list could go on.

6.) I am in desperate need of a haircut.  The last time I got one was May of 2013.  Almost a year.  Woof.  Desperate need of a cut and color.  I am seeing more and more greys and I am NOT happy about that.  I also need an eyebrow thread...and a facial.  Hah.

Lots of exciting things going on.  I have to remind myself to keep on swimming.  I have to remind myself that I am pushing myself and my family forward.  Now that this hiatus is over, I am planning on focusing more on on this blog as well.  It's going to be a combination of every life, to-do's, favorites and more.

Thanks for being patient with me!

Life To Do

 

I feel like with Vincent being sick on and off for the last month it seems, I feel as though a lot of things that I wanted/needed to get done have fallen to the way-side.  *Knock on wood* this is Vincent's first time being sick sick.  He has had colds and such, but walking ammonia is a new ball game of worry.  But slowly he seems to be making little improvements here and there.  

It's funny though, because even though you want to hit pause on life so you can take care of business, life is like NOPE I'm going to keep going beeotch, like it or leave it i'm moving forward.  DARN YOU LIFE :::shakes fist:::

Has this ever happened to you when you are sick... you wallow in your sickness, you lay around in your sweats, you drink a lot of fluids, you watch everything there is to watch on TV and finally one day, you feel a little better and your like, I should probably take a shower.  So, you shower, you take a little extra time lathering up, you actually shave your legs, you exfoliate, you moisturize.  You walk out pores open, smelling fresh and you actually blow dry your hair instead of wrapping it up in a wet bun.   That's me.  But sans being the sick one.  Since Vincent is getting good reports from the doctor I feel like I can finally start taking care of myself, which I know it shouldn't be that way, I need to take care of me first so I can take care of him.  But, it is what it is.  My sweet boy wasn't feeling good and neither was I.  I wanted to take his sickies so he could run around and be him.  How we take our health or the health of our loved one's for granted.  

So I am slowly but surely pulling myself together again and truly taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of... laundry, opening up mail/bills, going grocery shopping, answering e-mails, writing, etc.  I feel like this last month has been a blur.  A month full of worry, anxiety and frustration.  With the holidays right around the corner, I need to get my act straight and get shit done - ya feel me?  So I began to write down everything that needs to get done.  Writing it down, publically is a great way to hold myself accountable, so here is my Life To Do:

Home:

- Catch up on all laundry - fold and put away

- Organize office, file away old bills

- Scrub down bathroom

- Vacuum and Dust

- Scrub down kitchen

- Clean out fridge

- Menu plan for 2 weeks

- Go grocery shopping 

- Clean out kitchen cabinets - donate/purge unwanted items

- Catch up on all mail/filing

- Clean out catch-all bin in kitchen

Personal:

- Get eyebrows threaded ASAP

- Clean out purse

- Go get a massage and/or facial

- Paint nails

- Take a solo shopping/me day in the near future

- Volunteer somewhere

- Donate unwanted clothes

- Detail car | Outside and Inside

- Set up blogging schedule/posts

- Pay it forward

- Do something new

- Take more pictures/document them

- Start shopping for Christmas

- Order X-mas cards

- Pick up new tree 

Professional:

- Plan out 2014 goals and meet with Supervisor to go over them

- Once a week work out of another branch

- Clean out office and organize desk

- Thank you notes to the team

- Start planning 2013 Holiday/End of the year party for the team

That feels better.  And I am sure I am forgetting something as well.  There is so much to be done and I want to make sure I am writing it down in a place I will see often.  It's time to get up, brush myself off and get things done and make things happen.

Have a great day!

Painting Pumpkins & Halloween 2013

Vincent didn’t go out for Halloween this year because the poor little guy got sick on Wednesday and was sick through Sunday.  He got an ear infection too which just sucks.  But before he got sick, we had an opportunity to paint his pumpkin and for Mike and I to carve ours.  Vincent did really well with the paint, even though he did look at me with those eyes that want to test you and try and eat the paint.  Ugh.  Boys.  Anyway, we had a great time and even though Vincent didn’t get to go Trick or Treating this year, it’s OK! They’ll be plenty of time for that soon, so we just all snuggled up on the couch together and watched movies and sipped hot cider.  How was your Halloween?

I Believe In...

 

 

I believe in loving yourself first and foremost.  As cliche as it sounds, how can someone love or stand to be around you if you can't stand to be by yourself.  Be alone, sit in silence, write in a journal about the thoughts in your head.  Know who you are and what your morales and beliefs are.  Get to know you before you get to know anyone else.  It may get uncomfortable at times and yes you be feel lonely, but being alone is OK.  

I believe in not showing your cards all the time.  Sometimes a level of mystery is necessary.  I believe that it's important for people to work for your affection, trust and respect.  It's not something I give out willy-nilly.  Not many agree or understand this method, but it's something I wholeheartedly believe has stopped me from getting involved with people who don't have my best interest at heart.  Sure I find out even after showing my cards, but at least I gave some time before investing in someone.  Ask those important questions first, give someone the opportunity to show their true colors.

I believe that you can change around your day in a heart-beat.  I woke up the other day in a terribly bad mood.  I was tired, I had a list of things to get done for the day and it was a Sunday, which is a brutal reminder that Monday is right around the corner.  I took about an hour to be annoyed, angry, frustrated - I sat on the couch in my PJS and just felt annoyed and after that - I just got moving.  Physical movement helps! I got up and made chocolate chip pumpkin pancakes, we went shopping, carved pumpkins, went to the cider mill and watched a movie.  I believe that through physical movement and just going helps you change your mood around.  Sitting, wallowing for too long, and not doing something to actually change your mood is going to cause you more grief.  By the end of the day, even though I was tired and worn out - I felt great for having such a positive productive day.

I believe in good music.  Really good music that meanders it's way into your soul and helps you see things a little more clearly.  Music so good that you cant help but feel all the emotions.  It makes you smile or cry or get up and dance.  It understands you - it gets you and it knows when it needs to be heard.  Music so incredible that you play it on repeat over and over and over until it serves it purpose.  Music so inspiring that it changes you for the better, it helps you understand yourself, the situation or helps puts things in perspective.  Sometimes its the beat, the melody or the lyrics - but it's too good to ignore.

I believe in doing things that scare you.  We get so comfortable in our little bubble.  We become complacent with the people, events, daily things in our lives that we forget (intentionally or not) that there is so much out there! I've noticed that once I step outside of my safety zone and do something that is widely out of my comfort...it usually ends up being the exact thing I needed.  Sometimes you gotta shake things up! What's something you normally wouldn't do? Join a book club with a bunch of strangers? Try a wine tasting class? Go to lunch by yourself? Write out a list of things that scare you - and do it! You'll mind, body and soul will thank you! 

I believe in Kindness.  Life is too short to be anything but kind.  Be nice.  Be generous.  Be gracious.

What are some things you believe in?

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My New Found Frugal Life

It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve adopted our new found frugal life.  A couple observations/thoughts/musings:

- It hasn’t been easy.  I really want to shop and this is forcing me to not mindlessly spend and it’s also making me appreciate delayed gratification.
- I’m still using a lot of my allowance on food.  Which annoys me.  Coffee/lunches/etc. 
- We still haven't seen the fruits of our labor (yet) I know its only been two weeks.  But since we changed up how we pay our bills, we should see some substantial change by the third pay period.
- It makes me realize that I had a shopping/spending problem, because I get the urge too really bad and I have to physically stop myself.  I was in target and didn’t realize it until I snapped out of it – but I had a gorgeous purse in my hands and I was convinced I was going to walk out of the store with it.
- I think once I see how much (hopefully) is in our checking account by the end of the month I’ll be a changed woman… here’s to hoping.

Overall, it’s been good for me to stop buying buying buying (not that I was out of control, but it was obnoxious) and really forcing me to ask myself… “Do you really need this?” “Is this something that is worth spending your allowance on?” and for that, it’s been worth it so far.  Here’s to many successful and slightly less painful weeks ahead!

 

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Spend Less

Being an adult has it's awesome days... like days I want to have ice cream for breakfast or stay up late watching movies.  No parent  hovering over me telling me ice cream isn't a suitable breakfast choice (I beg to differ) or I have work in the morning and I should get to bed instead of watching movies all night.  

But a lot of the times, being an adult really sucks.  It comes with an insane amount of responsibility, bills, places to be, home to keep up with, relationships to nurture, metabolism slowing down... it's all very tragic.  One of the things that Mike and I have not put our adult pants on with was the whole budget thing.  We've been getting by for the last 3 years of our joint finances with not much to show for.  

After having a couple rough months this year where it felt like we were barely going to get by, we sat down and shit got real.  We realized that we are frivolously spending our money on food (lunches, dinners, coffee (me) in the morning) and a lot of little things here and there that added up like books, movies, hobby stuff, makeup etc.  We were getting to the point where we were beginning to step out of living within our means.  

We went over our net income + monthly expenses and we (happily) realized that we had quite a bit of money left over but didnt realize because we were pissing it away and didnt understand where it was going.  Sigh.  

What did we do? 

We created a 2 week menu plan that had a shopping list.  We just dont make it to the grocery store every week - we've tried.  We just dont.  The two week plan has worked.  

We also got a lot of fruit, veggies and snacks and pre-packaged them in easy accessible baggies so we dont waste.

Going alongside with that is we are brown bagging it - boring, yes... but sooo sooo SO cheap! 

We switched up when we pay certain bills.  A lot of them were at the end of the month leaving us sweating.  We moved up a lot of the bills to the beginning of the month and so far it's working.

We set up 3 month, 6 month and 1 year goals for our savings account to make it grow.

And the single most important thing we did to help our finances? We gave ourselves an allowance.  This allowance is for 2 weeks.  We have to make $100 (each) last for two weeks.  This means I can use my $100 on anything I want, coffee, make up, clothes, movies, lunch etc.  But if I blow my $100 before the 2 weeks are up - that's my prob.  I've never put myself on a budget... That sounds kind of crazy to say but I havent.  We are going to have weekly budget meetings to keep each other straight.

I am super excited to see how we are going to be able to improve our financial lives together.  I want to be debt free in 3 years (excluding mortgage and student loans) but I feel like if we stick to our plan, it can happen easy! 

I feel like I have to make it into a game or else I am going to loose my mind since I love to shop and spend.  So I am putting together a list of things to do instead of spend.

- Go for a walk

- Sit down and read one of the 40 books you've gotten recently

- Make some homemade bread

- Go to the zoo with Vincent

- Go to the Library

- Go to the DIA

- Clean out your closet 

- Write in your journal

- Go for a drive and blast some music

- Meditate

I am excited for this journey.  Here's to being debt free! 

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My DREAM 3 months off

Today’s prompt is “If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do?” – I am going to do this is as if money weren’t an issue, because its more fun that way.

Wouldn’t that be a freaking dream come true? Everyday life can be hard sometimes… it can get monotonous, it can get…well boring at times.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade in my PJ Tuesday’s, my little home or my sweet obnoxious dog for anything – but it is fun to dream.

If I could take three months off from my current life and do anything in the world, I would leave the states and head over the pond to Europe.  I would go to France for a month and sit in little café’s on the street.  I would read good books and drink fancy coffee’s.  I would take leisurely walks down little alley’s and eat lots of cheese and bread.  I would write my little heart out.  I would smoke an abundant amount of cigarettes.  I would spend days in museums and hours taking pictures of beautiful things and people.

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I would then spend another month in, of course, Italy.  The other homeland.  I’d take Vespa rides around the city, eat way to much gelato, stuff my face with pastas and meats.  I’d swim in the Mediterranean and get drunk on red wine and high on espresso.  I’d hop of the metro train and zip around the country soaking up every little bit I could.  I’d master the art of doing nothing and be inspired by the country’s true authentic beauty.

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Lastly, I’d spend the last month in Greece.  I’d spend my days in and/or by the sea.  I wouldn’t leave.  I’d wake up and the first thing I’d do would to go swim.  I’d spend my time fishing, taking hikes, visiting vistas and eat the most delicious food.  I’d walk through acres of vineyards, visit Mt. Zas and watch the sunset.  Life wouldn’t get any better than that.

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What would you do if you have three months off from your current life to do what you wanted?

Currently Reading

Well I did it again.  Scooped up a bunch of books with the intention of reading them.  I love collecting books more than I read them apparently.  Here is a current list of book on my nightstand that I plan on reading till the end of the year – make note that I am not a fast reader.

Sparkly Green Earrings, by Melanie Shankle – Originally from a blog.  Sparkly Green Earrings is a book on motherhood and trying to figure it all out.  Filled with personal stories that are both hilarious and heart-breaking.

The Light Between Oceans, by M.L. Steadman – Tom takes a job at a lighthouse and keeps records of anything that drifts up to shore until one day a boat comes up with a dead man and a living baby.  His wife (who struggles with conceiving) begs him to keep it as their own.  Their decision to do so will haunt them both.

The Cuckoos Calling, by Robert Galbraith – The actual author is J.K. Rowling under her pen name.  Lula a supermodel also known as Cuckoo to friends fell to her death one evening and was ruled as a suicide.  And detective Strike enters the world of beauties, money and introduces him to seduction and delusion.  You may think you know detective's but you’ve never met one like Strike before.

Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns, by Laren Weisberger - Andy and Emily, her former nemesis and co-assistant, have since joined forces to start a highend bridal magazine. The Plunge has quickly become required reading for the young and stylish. Now they get to call all the shots: Andy writes and travels to her heart’s content; Emily plans parties and secures advertising like a seasoned pro. Even better, Andy has met the love of her life.The morning of her wedding, Andy can’t shake the past. And when she discovers a secret letter with crushing implications, her wedding-day jitters turn to cold dread. Andy realizes that nothing—not her husband, nor her beloved career—is as it seems

The $100 Startup, by Chris Guillebeau - Chris identified 1,500 individuals who have built businesses earning $50,000 or more from a modest investment (in many cases, $100 or less), and from that group he’s chosen to focus on the 50 most intriguing case studies.  In nearly all cases, people with no special skills discovered aspects of their personal passions that could be monetized, and were able to restructure their lives in ways that gave them greater freedom and fulfillment.

 

Bittersweet, by Shauna Niequist – “The idea of bittersweet is changing the way we live, unraveling and re-weaving the way we understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness. 'It's the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul.”

Well that’s it so far, what books are you planning on reading this season/year?