SIGH

Ok.  January sucked.  As you can see with my previous post there were a lot of THINGS that happened that really hindered me from reaching my goals – yes I know it’s an excuse because THINGS happen to others and they still manage to reach goals, get shit done – yadda yadda yadda.  So, I am going to acknowledge that I didn’t do well in January.  I failed at eating better and I totallllllyyyyy did not stick to my no spending rule.  I go through these binges – not just with food but with money too.  It’s like I don’t even know me.  I will go a couple hours or so without shitty foods – my nemesis is carbs and chocolate then a craving will come on and I am no longer human or myself and I’ll eat like 8 dove chocolate in a row.  OR I will not spend any extra money on things like makeup or books or clothes then I’ll start to feel sorry for myself or get stressed and I’ll shop and feel better (for a hot minute) than immediately feel awful later.  It's a vicious cycle. 

January is coming to a close and I really need to put my big girl pants on and start thinking straight.  I need to start eliminating sugars and start saving some money – because Mike and I have a lot of fun things planned this year (Vincent's 1st bday, 3rd wedding anniversary, trip down to North Carolina, cruise for Mike’s 30th) and I want to make sure we not only have the funds to celebrate and do these fun things, but I want to make sure we have some money in our savings for rainy days – or rainy months like January. 

Starting February 4th I am going to embark on a 21 day SUGAR DETOX.  I will be eliminating all sugars, artificial sweeteners, carbs, certain fruits, pasta (sad), pastries, alcohol (only for 3 weeks), juice, cereal.  It’s not going to be easy – I’m nervous about withdrawals and becoming super irritable and mean.  I am nervous about when I get stressed and wanting to go to the comfort foods, I am nervous about peer pressure and people not understanding.  BUT alas, I am DONE with feeling like this.  Counting on sugars and carbs to satisfy that pang and urge.  I want to be more healthy.  I want to not feel foggy or groggy all the time due to the crappy food I keep eating. 

I remember doing this years ago.  I cut down on all the carbs and sugar intake – like cold turkey and I lost about 40 lbs, I worked out 3 times a week for 45 minutes, I stopped drinking caffeine.  I felt good and people noticed.  I want that again.

In February, I am NOT spending money on anything I don’t need.

NEEDS:
- Mortgage
- Utilities
- Phone
- Diapers (baby v)
- Food/Formula (baby v)
- Groceries
- Car payment
- Gas
- Doctor/Copays
- Gym membership/class

DO NO NEED:
- Movies
- Makeup
- Clothes
- Decorations (house)
- Coffee on the go
- Eating out
- New music/apps
- Hair stuff
- Books

So yea, it’s going to suck – but I am embarking on being a better version of myself.  Not just for myself, but for my husband, my son, my family.  It’s super important to me so It’s time for me to put in the effort… the hard work. 

I am going to try to be diligent and come back to discuss the good/bad about this new journey… WISH ME LUCK!

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Let it Go.

Source: imgfave.com via Mariabot on Pinterest

It's been  a rough couple weeks.  A rough couple weeks that included an accident, a flat tire, a $1100 service bill for our other car, dramaz, disorganization, a dog that literally has not stopped barking, a shrinking bank account, a pile of bills, work to-dos, home to-dos... And it's only the 20th of the month.  I just feel like every time we get back up - something happens that pushes right back down and it's exhausting. 

But one of the feelings I have been feeling other than the the frustration and anger at the above is: missing.  Something was and IS missing and I think part of it is my relationship with God.  Back in the day, I was very involved in our church and I felt a closeness with God and ever since Life happened, I didn't continue to nurture and develop that closeness with God.  So, Mike and I have made more of a commitment to go to Church every Sunday with the baby, I started reading a daily devotional by Oswald Chambers called My Utmost for His Highest.  And it's blowing mind.  I love it.  I want to read ahead, but that defeats the purpose of a daily devotional.. hah.  I'm praying more and trusting more and whispering "I'm here Lord." I want that feeling back.  I want that closeness back.  I want my relationship with God back.

The other thing that has been on my mind is MY well being.  I am JUST not taking good care of myself.  I am not exercising as much, I am still not eating well, I am not drinking enough water - I am stressing out too much and not letting it go... so I am making it a point to get to the gym at least 2-3x a week.  Is it going to be hard with a baby - yup... but most things in life are... I am also going to try to do Just Dance 4 at home 1-2x a week as well.  The point is to MOVE. 

I am going to continue to write more.  I have so much jumbled up in my head that I sometimes will sit down begin to write and get so overwhelmed that I just end up walking away frustrated.  So... writing more... good. 

Small steps in the right direction.  THAT'S what I am going to focus on.

How is the new year going for you?

Being the Best I Can

2013.  I thought for sure by now we’d have flying cars. 2013 sounds so futuristic doesn’t it? But alas, we don’t have flying cars… I’ll continue to hope that 2014 gets on that ASAP.

Another year.  I am hoping that 2013 brings good things for myself and my family.  I hope to do many things together and there are plenty of things I want to accomplish for myself.  Call them what you will: resolutions, goals, timelines – whatever… the idea is still the same.  We all want to do better.  We all want to grow.  We all want to learn from ourselves and others.  So I have been thinking about a list of things I want to work on this year.

1.) TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF – Eat better, drink more water, talk nicely to myself, exercise more, get enough sleep, stop eating too many carbs, give myself time, find time to be alone even though you feel guilt, stop eating too much sugar.  You have this one body in this one life.  Treat yourself well.

2.) STOP SPENDING SO MUCH G|D MONEY ON THINGS YOU DON’T NEED – You know, that cute scarf, that adorable spring nail polish color, another book, that tinted moisturizer.  Saving our money is my goal for 2013.  After a car accident (not serious) and a flat tire on another it makes me realize that we don’t have much of a savings account to help us when we need it most.  I am going to contribute a nice chunk of change each month from our income.  By the end of the year I hope to have at least $5000 in our savings.

3.) GIVE MORE – We may not have a lot.  But what we have is more than enough.  We live comfortably.  We have nice things.  We are blessed, which is why I want to give more to those who don’t.  I am going to contribute a small amount to a non-profit each month using this cool little site as well as giving more to our church.

You basically pick something to forgo like coffee or eating out or seeing a movie and choose how much you want to donate then find a non-profit to donate too – and enter in your info.  EASY!

  

4.) ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE! -  Get into a better cleaning routine.  Keep things tidy, purge things and clothes that you no longer use or wear.  Everything should have a place…if you cant find out where – purge!

5.) GO ON ADVENTURES – 2012 was a year of the baby.  We had him in March and the whole year basically revolved around him.  Not a bad thing at all, but it left me feeling a little despondent from the world.  I want 2013 to be full of trips to the park, going to the pool/lake, picnics, zoo’s, and a couple of trips for just Mike and I too.

5 seems like a good number – I don’t want to go too crazy.  Here’s to an amazing year full of more love and joy.  What are your goals for 2013?