Let it Go.


It's been  a rough couple weeks.  A rough couple weeks that included an accident, a flat tire, a $1100 service bill for our other car, dramaz, disorganization, a dog that literally has not stopped barking, a shrinking bank account, a pile of bills, work to-dos, home to-dos... And it's only the 20th of the month.  I just feel like every time we get back up - something happens that pushes right back down and it's exhausting. 

But one of the feelings I have been feeling other than the the frustration and anger at the above is: missing.  Something was and IS missing and I think part of it is my relationship with God.  Back in the day, I was very involved in our church and I felt a closeness with God and ever since Life happened, I didn't continue to nurture and develop that closeness with God.  So, Mike and I have made more of a commitment to go to Church every Sunday with the baby, I started reading a daily devotional by Oswald Chambers called My Utmost for His Highest.  And it's blowing mind.  I love it.  I want to read ahead, but that defeats the purpose of a daily devotional.. hah.  I'm praying more and trusting more and whispering "I'm here Lord." I want that feeling back.  I want that closeness back.  I want my relationship with God back.

The other thing that has been on my mind is MY well being.  I am JUST not taking good care of myself.  I am not exercising as much, I am still not eating well, I am not drinking enough water - I am stressing out too much and not letting it go... so I am making it a point to get to the gym at least 2-3x a week.  Is it going to be hard with a baby - yup... but most things in life are... I am also going to try to do Just Dance 4 at home 1-2x a week as well.  The point is to MOVE. 

I am going to continue to write more.  I have so much jumbled up in my head that I sometimes will sit down begin to write and get so overwhelmed that I just end up walking away frustrated.  So... writing more... good. 

Small steps in the right direction.  THAT'S what I am going to focus on.

How is the new year going for you?

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