Life Lessons

Here are a couple life lessons I would like to share:

1.) Not everyone is going to like you and you know what, that is OK.  You weren't wired for it! Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and just like you're not going to change those individuals they aren't going to change you either.

2.) Judging is such a waste of time.  Why do we spend so much time judging one-another for their career-choices, life choices, men choices, how they handled a situation? We're all doing the best we can.  Leave them alone and concentrate on yourself.

3.) Surround yourself with good positive people! Life is way to short to invest any of your precious time with people who are toxic and don't have your best interest at heart.

4.) Read anything and everything.  An article, a poem, a book series, the Bible.  Read something everyday and learn something new.

5.) If you can't afford a therapist, listen to an insane amount of music.

6.) Comparing yourself to others feels gross.  Love the season, the path, the boat you are in at that moment.  God has a path for you - trust!

7.) It's OK to have ice cream for breakfast.

8.) After getting married, just be together for some time.  We've heard it all before, but having children changes the dynamic of your relationship, your life, your home - everything.  Even though it's the next step in life, don't worry so much about getting there in such a hurry.  Be together, travel, stay up late, go out often.  Build the foundation of your marriage.

9.)We teach people how to treat us.  Don't allow others to bring you down, stick up for yourself, you are your biggest fan - dont give up on yourself and think you deserve to be treated poorly.  No one does.

10.) Treat your body and your mind better.  Your body is your vessel to get around in this one life so if you are struggling to get around because of bad eating choices and lack of exercise, DO SOMETHING about it.  Don't just wish and hope and complain.  Literally get up and do something.  Also, be kinder to yourself.  If anyone talked to you the way you talked to yourself you'd probably kick that persons ass.  Say nice things to yourself, you're kind of amazing.

11.) Smile more.

12.) Do something creative everyday.

13.) Pray everyday.  For yourself, your family, your friends, for peace, for clarity, for help.  Just pray.

14.) Practice self care.  Always.  It's so easy to get caught up in life.  Work, family, children, home, laundry, bills, dinner prep, blogging, obligations take hold and 3 days later you realize you haven't taken a shower or even put deodorant on.  Take care of you and you will be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sibling etc.  Do something that puts a huge smile on your face at least once a day whether it's giving yourself a mini home facial or grabbing coffee and people watching or catching a solo movie or grabbing some fresh cut flowers, love you.  Do you.

15.) When all else fails... DANCE. 

The Longest Winter....Ever.

Why did I fall off the face of the earth? Why did I stop writing? I think apart of me needed a break from online life and apart of it was because ever since November my life was slowly but surely unraveling.  That during December and the months that followed knocked me off my feet completely leaving me dizzy and unable to get my footing.  

Watching my Nana slowly die, watching my mother(and family) have to endure it, the heartache, the stress, the feeling of complete and utter helplessness set in.  The all day nausea from my 2nd pregnancy, mixed emotions of pure elatedness of this new baby joining our growing family and sheer despair of how sick I was, was simply exhausting and how all I wanted was for my mom to come and touch my hair.  How I got out of bed at all is a miracle in itself - but then again it's amazing what you'll do when you have another tiny person, a toddler, still counting on you to keep your shit together.  We lost all our babysitters around that time due to their own personal (serious) issues they had to take care , found ourselves having to spend $500 a month on daycare, in the middle of the craziest, crappiest winter I have ever seen in my life and realized as of maybe 3 weeks ago we hadnt had a date night since our 3rd year anniversary in May.  The grey days took hold of me and made sure I stayed down.  I got into a terrible fight with whom I thought was a dear friend of mine, it came out of left field and frankly was unwarranted and completely inexcusable.  My son took two trips to the ER, has had multiple ear infections, had a stomach bug twice that got me once and my husband the other, multiple viruses and a runny nose that would not go away.  And finally, having to finally say goodbye to my Nana after months and months of suffering.  Knowing she is at peace is my only comforting thought through it all.  

My mind, my house, my life was a mess.  Everything was in disarray.  I was stuck.  But I feel like within the last month or so, I am slowly but surely coming out of the haze.  I am slowly but surely starting to feel more like myself and THANK GOD for that.  Partly due to the all day nausea going away, partly due to the sun making more of an appearance, and partly because I am forcing myself to keep moving forward.  For the last month I have been working on  getting the house organized.  Putting together to-do's again, not just for the day but for the coming months.  Grocery shopping regularly and cooking more - even though I still dont have much of an appetite by the end of the day.  I am slowly but surely making time for myself again (alone time) and i've been working hard on staying busy.  Being stagnant is not good for me.  The last half of 2013 and the first 2 months of 2014 were the toughest months I (my husband, families, etc) have endured but I am also very grateful to have gone through it.  Adversity has brought my husband and I closer, we appreciate the smaller things in life, it has opened our eyes to our finances, and made us love those around us harder and to remember to do the right thing - even if its the harder thing to do.  

I think it was appropriate to discuss the sad/dark moments of my life over the last couple months so I can again appreciate them for what they were, a particularly hard season but also a wonderful learning one as well.  I anticipate the remainder of 2014 to be a wonderful one:

1.) We have 3 weddings to go to.  Two of which are out of town, Traverse City and Toronto, Canada.  We are planning on heading to Niagra Falls the Friday before the wedding for a quick family get away.  

2.) I am investing in a business program/venture that I am SUPER excited but EXTREMELY nervous about.  I'll be helping others feel better about themselves and hopefully make a little extra pocket money to help our family.  More on that later.

3.) We will be welcoming our second son end of July and I am so SO very excited to meet this little guy.

4.) After our son makes his grand entrance I will be buckling down and shedding this baby weight from both pregnancies because going to be honest here, didnt loose much from my first.  So I will be going at it hard and focusing on my health and happiness.  I am planning on working out, eating  right and drinking a TON of H20.

5.) Our landscaping in our front and backyard need some desperate tender loving care this spring.  After a particularly crazy 2013 we barely touched it.  We need it cleaned up, bushes trimmed,  weeds pulled, plants potted, mulch laid - the list could go on.

6.) I am in desperate need of a haircut.  The last time I got one was May of 2013.  Almost a year.  Woof.  Desperate need of a cut and color.  I am seeing more and more greys and I am NOT happy about that.  I also need an eyebrow thread...and a facial.  Hah.

Lots of exciting things going on.  I have to remind myself to keep on swimming.  I have to remind myself that I am pushing myself and my family forward.  Now that this hiatus is over, I am planning on focusing more on on this blog as well.  It's going to be a combination of every life, to-do's, favorites and more.

Thanks for being patient with me!

On giving up

 

I feel bad for people who give up so easily.  I do.  I feel bad for those people because, I think there is a part of them that really doesn’t understand how the world works, or what life is like.  I sometimes feel as though they are so incredibly selfish and narrow.

I feel bad for those people because they never truly grow or learn because they don’t fight through the hard.  They don’t learn from their mistakes because they are always running away from them.  If I ran away from all the hard things in my life, I wouldn’t be able to look myself in the mirror at the end of the day and say, “Well at least I did my best.”

Giving up would tear me up inside.  It would eat away at my soul.  It would leave me feeling hollow.  Especially, if I didn’t voice my concerns before hand.  Especially if I didn’t really truly 100% try.  Oh, I’m stressed so poof I’m done.  Or, I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off so I am going to walk away without notice.  Seriously? Do you really want to be that person?

I don’t have the luxury to quit and give up.  I have a family.  A home.  Bills.  Student Loans.  Debt.  Food to put on the table.  A car to get me from point A to point B.  I can’t quit.  I have to surrender to the difficulties, the misery, the suffering and learn.  If it’s hard then I think I’m in this situation right now because God wants to me to learn from it or someone.  I am suffering now so I will get some reprieve later.  Nothing GOOD or BAD lasts forever so why do people run away so quickly when things get bad or hard?

I pray for those people because their lives will never get easier or better because they are constantly running.  I pray that the next time something hard, or stressful or scary happens they stop look it in the face and muddle through it – through all the difficulties, emotions and all.  Because at the end you are a different person, a stronger person a better person because you lived through it.  You have everything to lose if you give up and everything to gain if you live through it.  So live through it.